“Aquarium Psycho”
Well Hello.
Are you one of the millions muttering “I work because I have to, not because I want to” while feeling powerless to change this?
I help wannabe retirees make their jobs unnecessary by stock picking as a hobby (this is at times an understatement), so they can retire on their terms and conquer the terror of outliving their money.
Do you have urgency, solvency, and gender-ambiguous balls? Watch this presentation. Launch your lifetime of investing. Earn your Findependence.
This is reel if you’re for real. Here’s what some Finatics say…
(I’m aware it sounds ridiculous. But in the hands of offishially serious clients, “Find Fat Fish helps amateur investors make more by stock picking as a hobby than they earn in their jobs” plays out, long-term, as a probability & understatement. Because the math of compound interest dictates that investing is far more powerful than income.)
"Fat Fish on Bed of Greens"
About The Mascot
Fat Fish Are Opportunities To Turn 1 Month Of Expenses Into 1 Year Of Freedom. Find Fat Fish® is personal training for personal finance.
I will help you catch Your First Stock®, then build your own portfolio, replacing needless fear with fact-based faith, going on offense without sacrificing your defense, until you've learned to fish forever and don't need me or anyone. (If, and only if, you’re ready.)
“Twenty years in this business convinces me that any normal person using the customary three percent of the brain can pick stocks just as well, if not better, than the average Wall Street expert.”
About The Mission
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Find Fat Fish exists to help you find your first stock now, then to turn long-term investing into your favorite hobby. Learning to fish then following through solves more problems than is obvious – the two I am most focused on are “I work because I have to, not because I want to” & “After all this school and work and sacrifice, I am faced with a codnundrum: never retire, or outlive my money.”
“Rich Dad, Pole Dad”
"Trust Me, I’m A Sturgeon"
About The Flounder
I am Cole Hauptfuhrer 👋
Flounder & Chief Executive Offisher of Find Fat Fish, author of 12 Steps To Your First Stock, vagabonding speaker (NZ, Bali), creator of Find Fat Fish’s Codcast, and Supreme Grill Sergeant of Find Fat Fish’s Swim School.
One of the few “finfluencers” who can powerfully answer “What is your best case study?” (I’ve helped people retire years or decades faster based on 8 weeks of training & 2 years of followthrough), I am a specialist in part-time focus investing.
Disturbed to learn I was an English Major training to become a verbal acrobat, my dad yanked me out of college and taught me investing in one week on a cruise ship. I went from knowing nothing about stock-picking to quadrupling my first investment—then rolling those proceeds into even-fatter winners that are sitting in your kitchen—using simple principles I teach people in my Your First Stock® workshop.
After 19 years of investing as a hobby to fund the life I want to live, this continues to amaze me: investing is the most lucrative & lazy-intelligent skillset on the planet but it’s taught well damn near nowhere. So I’ve built Find Fat Fish to do for you what my dad did for me. (If, and only if, you’re ready.)
“If you invest $1,000 in a stock, all you can lose is $1,000, but you stand to gain $10,000 or even $50,000 over time if you’re patient. The average person can concentrate on a few good companies, while the fund manager is forced to diversify. By owning too many stocks, you lose this advantage of concentration. It only takes a handful of big winners to make a lifetime of investing worthwhile.”
“The highest rates of return I’ve ever achieved were in the 1950s. I killed the Dow. You ought to see the numbers. But I was investing peanuts then. It’s a huge structural advantage not to have a lot of money. I think I could make you 50% a year on $1 million. No, I know I could. I guarantee that.”
Hmm. Still “researching”, eh? Here’s what more Finatics say…
